Their stories are most inspirational and not about death at all, but the quality of life, care and kindness while their loved ones were still with us. Our Catholic faith teaches us to respect life at all stages and so many folks I visit with seem to understand this perfectly.
Recently, we received a call from a woman who said, “My mother has died, what do I do next?” During our conversation on the phone, we discovered the caller had cared for her mother for five years at home and though difficult at times, she rediscovered her own love for life. Her day was filled with bathing, feeding and dressing her mother. She said, “for five long years of battling my mother’s cancer, I discovered the truth about this life, ‘it’s not about me.’ ”
Another call from a gentleman revealed how he had to quit his job to take care of his wife. He didn’t have the resources to put her in a care facility. And even though he had his own health issues, he mustered the strength to care for her for three years until she went home to our Savior. To quote this saint, “Although my wife could barely speak and rarely recognized me, I wouldn’t have changed a minute of caring for her. I grew to love her even more because she was so grateful.”
There are so many heart-warming stories out there of kindness, caring and loving. Just normal people who have put their own lives on hold to take care of those they love. To them it was not only the right thing to do, but also the most loving.
In our culture of death, where people are abandoned on the street, nursing homes and hospitals; where so many of God’s souls die alone, I’ve come to believe in the goodness of human nature again.
But just as we celebrate the beauty of life at all stages, some of our state legislators are attempting to promote a culture of death. There is a bill in the California State Senate called “End of Life Option Act” (SB128) that would legalize Doctor Prescribed Suicide. If we believe in the sanctity of life as Catholics, it’s at all stages of life, especially when we need care the most, at the end of our lives. So many of the stories I’ve heard from families would be quite different if this bill enters our mainstream of thinking. No caring, no loving, no kindness, only convenient termination of a life! I hope and pray that the Christian view of life prevails in this situation.
So, on difficult days, when the stories seem so heartbreaking, I ask a few more questions of our families and discover again another beautiful example of Christ in our midst, not the death portrayed by our culture.
We, who work with those who are left behind, will always be about the living. And we look forward to the next phone call that will bless our lives with a heroic story of just doing the right thing, which in the end becomes a moment of life changing grace.
Deacon John Barna is the Director of Catholic Cemeteries for the Diocese of San Bernardino.