“In my home, the digital world has become more important than the real one. We don’t talk anymore.”
This is a concern voiced by many families today. Does it resonate with you? Many experts have expressed serious concerns about technology and the impact on families, and how overuse limits conscience formation, exposes the members of the family to harmful and addictive content, and hinders relationship bonds. The Church understands that raising a family in the digital age is challenging and invites families to use technology prudently – one that is ordered to God’s plan for our lives.
Research is showing that technology has caused families to become more addicted, bored, distracted, and isolated today. Data reveals that people today check their phones an average of 150 times a day, with 46 percent of people saying their devices are something they “can’t live without.” Families are more bored; in one 2014 study on boredom, participants who were forced to spend time alone with their thoughts, were willing to self-administer electric shocks rather than deal with the boredom! This makes our families spiritually vulnerable, because many of us have a very difficult time simply being with God in quiet contemplation. Families are more distracted: a study published in the Journal of Pediatrics found that when parents are distracted by technology, they are more likely to respond harshly to their children, carrying thus its own set of harmful consequences. Lastly, families are more isolated; living under the same roof yet feeling alone and disconnected from one another. Research finds that most people today, especially younger generations, would rather text than talk over the phone or face to face. In his first encyclical, Magnifica Humanitas (Magnificent Humanity), Pope Leo XIV affirms that “when a family is together, it is not enough for everyone to sit there looking at their own phone… it is very important to learn how to talk, to have conversations, and to enjoy one another’s company.”
These realities, although alarming, should not discourage us or lead us to believe that all technology use is harmful. Technology offers many positive opportunities when we use it responsibly. For example, FaceTime-ing family who live far away, entertaining a child on a long plane ride, or research for a work or school project, to name a few. A 2022 Church Document on The Church & The Internet by the Pontifical Council for Social Communications states that “Hanging back timidly from fear of technology or for some other reason is not acceptable, in view of the very many positive possibilities of the Internet.”
The families who flourish in this digital world will be those who approach these challenges with discernment, asking NOT “What can this technology do?” but “How can this technology serve our relationships?”
Paola Martinez is the Associate Director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life Ministries in the Diocese of San Bernardino. Mario Martinez is the Director of Parish Life at The Holy Name of Jesus Parish in Redlands.