By Paola Martinez
Our diocese has been blessed in recent weeks to have wonderful conversations with our local Catholic faithful about the beauty and importance of family life in our Church. The occasion was the 10th anniversary of Pope Francis’ apostolic exhortation Amoris Laetitia “The Joy of Love: On Love in the Family.” Pope Leo XIV will meet this month with the presidents of the world’s bishops’ conferences to discern how the Church can proclaim the Gospel to families today, in light of Amoris Laetitia and the experience of local Churches.
We were invited to prepare for this joyous event by conducting local listening sessions, which were carried out by various diocesan offices and teams. The listening sessions were structured around five themes Pope Leo selected from Amoris Laetitia. The goal was to hear directly from couples and families about their lived experience, their hopes, their struggles, and the ways the Church can better accompany them.
The Office of Marriage and Family Life Ministry conducted listening sessions on four of these themes: Families Today: Reality, Beauty, and Challenges; Married Life: The First Years of Marriage — A Decisive Time; In the Difficulties of Life: Accompanying and Supporting; and Christian Families as Subjects of the Church’s Mission. The process included participants from the Low Desert Vicariate, with one listening session held at Sacred Heart, Palm Desert, the Hemet Vicariate (listening session held at St. James, Perris), and the San Bernardino Vicariate (listening session held at The Holy Name of Jesus, Redlands). Participants were excited to be a part of a historic moment in the life of the Church. Throughout the process, participants moved through three areas of reflection: their lived experience, what they believe is needed, and the priorities they believe the Church should consider. The purpose was not simply to identify problems, but to understand what is already strengthening families, where important gaps remain, and how the Church can respond more intentionally.
Several themes emerged across the listening sessions. Faith remains a strong source of support in family life. Participants repeatedly spoke about prayer, the Eucharist, the Rosary, Scripture, family relationships, forgiveness, retreats, parish involvement, and the witness of parents and grandparents. One participant remembered “the faith and prayers of my mother,” while another found strength in “knowing that Jesus lived in a family and gives us the strength to keep moving forward.” Many families are already living their faith in meaningful ways at home and through service. Families are also carrying significant and overlapping pressures. Participants described concerns related to communication, technology, work demands, financial stress, loneliness, addiction, mental health, family conflict, declining participation among youth and young adults, infertility, divorce, migration, and other difficult life situations. These realities rarely exist in isolation and often affect several areas of family life at once.
Ongoing accompaniment was one of the clearest needs expressed during the listening sessions. Participants spoke positively about their marriage preparation sponsor couples with one saying, “Our sponsor couple really helped us; we became like family.” Others cited marriage preparation, retreats, spiritual guidance, peer support, and DivorceCare, of which one person stated, “[it] did help and gave me hope and healing.” Also mentioned as powerful ministries of accompaniment were Rachel’s Vineyard post-abortion healing retreats, National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), the men’s ministry Prevención y Rescate, Pastoral de Adicciones, relationship education programs, and other forms of specialized support.
At the same time, many described gaps after the wedding, during a family crisis, or other times when they did not know where to turn. Families value accompaniment that is personal, practical, accessible, and sustained over time, we heard.
Youth, parents, and the transmission of faith remain a major concern in family life. Participants asked for stronger support for parents, better communication within families, more meaningful engagement with youth and young adults, and more opportunities for families to grow in faith together. Parents were consistently seen as important witnesses of faith, but also as people who need formation, encouragement and support, themselves.
Families want to be active participants in the Church’s mission. Participants described serving in liturgy, outreach, prayer, catechesis, support groups, and community service. One participant shared that “Church leaders need to actively get to know their parishioners to encourage and offer opportunities to use their unique gift sets.” Testimony at these listening sessions suggests that families should not be viewed only as recipients of ministry. They can also become mentors, witnesses, ministers, and missionaries to other families.
The Church recognizes the complexities of marriage and family life today and stresses the need for its ministers to be near to families regardless of the situation in which they find themselves; encouraging an attitude of intentional accompaniment. Accompaniment was highlighted numerous times in the diocesan listening sessions. Amoris Laetitia aims to be a text connected to people living their normal day-to-day lives. Overall, the listening sessions revealed both the strength and resilience of families and the need for the Church to remain close to families in every season.
Paola Martinez is the Associate Director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life Ministries in the Diocese of San Bernardino.